April 20, 2015

[dreams & gym breakups]

"And why do you want to end your membership?"

"..because I never come here."

It's that easy.. when you join a gym in January 2015 and use the facilities one single time in total (the day I joined) in 3 and a half months, a gym breakup is essential.

At least I learned my lesson.

..or did I?

Sadly, I can say with truth that I have quit a total of 3 different gyms in the last 3 years of my post graduate life. Oops.

Let me set this straight just in case you were confused (because the good Lord knows that I am for signing up for gyms again AND again): I'm not a gym person.

I don't like gyms. In my opinion - for whatever it's worth - pretty much all exercise should be done outside. I don't prefer to run on a treadmill on a path leading me to nowhere when I could be, say, running to the nearest coffee shop to journal. I don't prefer unleashing the beast that is my sweaty-ness to a group of my 50 [non]closest "friends" at the gym - the ones who glisten in the fluorescent lighting while I'm racing to the nearest water fountain to "splash some water on my face".. you know who I'm talking about. And it's probably you.

Annoyingly so, this little gym mishap thing that I've got going on.. makes me somewhat of a quitter.

I know that I want to be healthier. I know that I want to be able to walk up my parking garage's flight of stairs without getting winded on the way in to work..

But what am I doing about it?

So I've been reading this awesome book by Jon Acuff called Quitter. It's a gem. I would highly suggest it, even though I'm not done.

What I'm learning so far is that if you truly want something, you have to actually try to get it. I know, I know - how much more common sense could it get? But really. Ask yourself how many times you have said that you were "too busy" to do something you love.

You know, the conversation that goes a little bit like this:

Me: "What's your favorite thing to do outside of your 8 to 5?"

You: "Well, I LOVE to paint. But I just can't ever find enough time to do it."

NEWSFLASH: if you love something, you can and will find time to do it. I promise.

This is what I'm learning.

I'm learning that dreams are fun and all.. but that is exactly what they will stay if I do not choose to proactively pursue them. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what that looks like, but I'd be lying to you if I told you that I didn't make an Excel spreadsheet mapping out part of "The Plan" this evening.

I'm also learning about being vulnerable. And vulnerability is never fun. I am beginning to think that the reason a dream is "a dream" is because we're too scared to pursue it. What happens if I fail? What happens if it's not everything I thought it would be? It's always nice to have a plan B.. and then maybe the other 24 letters.

My hope & prayer is that this coming season will be one of creativity + trust. Offering up my dreams & plans in the hands of an almighty, loving, omniscient, and sovereign God - the One who offers up grace upon grace continually.. He never quits. In fact, "quitting" isn't even in His repertoire.

At the heart of a dream is change.

Sitting and resting in change right here with you.

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