Wednesday, March 4

[meander]

Life is complicated.

This I have come to discover through multiple avenues, but more so, over one very long avenue that has had me driving for miles. And when I say miles, I mean m-o-n-t-h-s. Convoluted directions and restricted left-hand turns.. mirages out on the open desert road..

Where’s Google Maps when ya need it?

When you’re young, everything seems unbelievably simple.
Effortless;
Straightforward; &
Clear-cut.

So life’s decisions are simple, right? Turns out.. this is not always the case. Joke’s on this girl. Turns out.. very likely is this ever the case.

I remember just how painless my youth ‘problems’ were – if you can even call them that. They were centered around slumber party guest lists, basketball team tryouts, spelling bee jitters, and babysitting schedules.

Now my problems have more to do with salary negotiations, living out my dreams in life, finding out if the guy I’m dating has the potential to be my husband, figuring out my ‘5 year plan’ – whatever the FREAK that is – watching my friends get pregnant while I sit here and watch Netflix home alone on a Friday night (..and am incandescently & shamelessly happy about it).

So where does that lead me? To surrender & trust. Not the simple answer I was looking for to get me out of the not-so-simple complications of life. The older I get, the surer I am that I’m not running the show. And it’s a DANG good thing that I’m not.

P
A
U
S
E.

^^so this little snippet of stress; ball of nerves; whatever you would like to call it – was written in June of 2014.

It is now – as you know – March 2015. [Sometimes I have a bad habit of leaving things halfway done.]  I found this unfinished wannabe blog post while going through files on my computer a couple of weeks back. When I read it, I laughed.. a good laugh. Mainly for the fact that it is complete + solid evidence that the ways of the Lord are second to none – that he truly is sovereign. But what’s even better than that? His sovereign ways are GOOD. He is GOOD. And now for the best part.. he LOVES us.

What?!?!?! That is mind boggling, incredible, awe-inspiring.. and, most importantly, true. So back when I wrote this, I think you can gather that I was a little confused – I was in a stage of life where I felt the need to test the waters, if you will.. see what was on the other side of the pasture in hopes of finding something excitingly luscious and green. No such luck. In my wandering (“prone to wander, Lord I feel it”.. those lyrics ring annoyingly true), God stayed.

So I was reading Genesis 38 this morning. It's a real knock-you-right-outta-your-seat-jaw-dropping-way-down kind of chapter. The main character, Judah (Judah is Israel's - formerly known as Jacob - son) is living quite the life.. um, sleeping with prostitutes, selling his brother to the family’s enemies for some extra cash money.. just a little brotherly love here - nothing out of the ordinary. Nope, I am lying. This was an interesting Saturday morning read to say the least. However, what I found exponentially more interesting is that God chose Judah’s line to bring Jesus into the world. Say whaaaaat?

Judah clearly has some issues. Let’s be real. Homeboy is a bit confused about the meaning of “righteousness” and the goodness it brings us – but aren’t we all, really?

But God.

I love the coupling of these two words. But God uses Judah, a sinful + flawed person, to bring about a most perfect Messiah. Crazy. Throughout the Old Testament, New Testament, and in my daily life, I am assured of the truth that I cannot lose, even when I am faint of heart or go my own way through disobedience or rebellion when he is on my side. As I said earlier, God is sovereign. And so incredibly GOOD. And he LOVES us.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in [me] will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
--Philippians 1:6

Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.
--Romans 5:20

So basically, on this 4th day of March, walking into a fresh, new month.. I am out of the wandering – in this specific instance at least.. personally, I believe we are annoyingly + subconsciously always going to wander until Jesus comes back. But God uses this wandering to slowly reveal to us that he is working on our behalf - for the g-o-o-d of those who love him. 

And today, on this 4th day of March, I choose to believe that God is constantly at work in and around and through me. I choose to fully acknowledge that there are many surprises in store for me that are leading me to the wide open arms of Jesus Christ, my completely good + sovereign + loving Sweet Lord.

Won't you choose to believe with me?