[pressing onward]

You know what I used to think? I used to be so transfixed on the idea that Christianity was about that one time moment, that illicit, single life changing event. You know what I'm talking about - the story you tell whenever people ask you how you became a Christian. "I realized I was making my boyfriend my idol when suddenly I realized a human is never one to be idolized" or "I was searching for meaning and purpose when I came across Jesus Christ and his calling for my life." Don't get me wrong - these events are extremely important.. after all, they did change your life.

Flash forward to Sunday, October 13th, 2013.

I believe I have been a Christian - a Jesus following, mistake maker, Holy Spirit filled human being for the last 4 years of my life. What I have learned during this roller coaster of a time period is that God is not willing to leave you where you're at after that first life changing event. He's got bigger plans than you could EVER imagine for your life - talk about cool. If your testimony involves God breaking you so that you may see Him more clearly - get ready, there's a lot more of you to be broken. If your testimony involves God giving you joy and meaning through Him - there is a deeper sense of joy that comes from knowing the Lord more intimately and you better believe He's going to continue revealing Himself to you.. if you ask.

One of my most favorite quotes comes from C.S. Lewis:

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

These 4 years have been slightly intense for me - no where near the intensity of others' lives, I am sure; however, I am somewhat of a pansy, so it's been intense for me. I'm not going into details, but let's just say that God certainly isn't leaving me where I was when I first met Him. I have experienced joy, no joy, questions, confidence, purpose, indifference.. you name it. What I have learned along the way is that all of this is vital to becoming a deeper Christ devoted follower.

Does it hurt? At times.
Does God have your best interests in mind? Thankfully, yes.
Is it an adventure worth living? You betta Belize it!

If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

-John 8:31-32

 

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

-Colossians 2:6

It isn't that you're ever going to be perfect in this life - you're going to learn to struggle well.

In other news, life is good. Yesterday was OU vs. TX.. and OU lost. Personally, I think we owed Texas a win after a good 4 years. It keeps things more interesting, right? If you're a Sooner fan, you are probably hating me right now. Regardless, it was a good day filled of beautiful friends, cinnamon rolls and banana espresso chocolate chip muffins, and football.

[#repost]

In a world where it is normal to hear of an event such as a sex scandal taking place with government officials or details on the most recent local homicide, how is one supposed to see the good things in life?

I refuse to conform to the ways of this world.

The author of this blog post is not responsible for, and expressly disclaims all liability for, damages of any kind arising out of use, reference to, or reliance on any information contained within this post. While the information contained within this post is accurate for the author, it is in no way deemed as the right way for all readers to experience life's goodness.

a recipe for happiness.
PURPOSE: to taste and see that life is good.

- 1 thirty minute work out (jogs with your favorite jams are recommended.. yoga, pilates, dancing, soccer, hiking, rollerblading are also advised) Don't stop until you sweat.

- a quiet morning engaged in journaling/reading/praying outside near your garden with your Nonfat Chai Tea Latte in hand.

- 2 (or whatever number you see fit) random acts of kindness for a stranger or friend. Examples include, but are not limited to: paying for the car behind you in the fast food lane, burning a "because I love you" CD for a friend or lover, etc.

- Hard work. Whether it is studying if you are a student or working if you are in the workforce, do it to the fullest. Know that your work is making an impact on those around you. Let your work be meaningful and significant. Encourage those around you.

- Engage in a deep conversation with a friend. Find out what is on their heart. Discuss struggles you need prayer for. Laugh at your imperfections. Plan weekend get-aways.

- Cook dinner for others. Personally, I would recommend getting a recipe off Pinterest. It's all the rage.. or haven't you heard?

- Constantly remind yourself that you.are.not.made.for.this.world. When life gets you down, pray. Remember that Jesus also suffered, so it's pretty obvs that you're gonna suffer too. After praying, leave it in God's hands and be done with it.

- When the day is done, rest underneath the stars before heading to your high powered fan, memory foam mattress, down comforter, and feather pillows.

- Thank God for this beautiful day. If it wasn't as great as you wanted, remember you have a fresh start tomorrow. If it was freakin awesome, smile.

- Take a deep breath and realize how completely insane it is that you are alive before dozing off.

Rinse and repeat.

[you're okay]

Christian (n): professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus; commonly known for their too-good-to-be-true, upbeat attitude, perfect life, and outrageously high moral standards.
^^(my own comments included)

S.O.S!!!!!!!! I'm not feeling so "Christian."

It's easy to put on a façade, to take after the "stereotypical Christian" and pretend I don't have problems. It's easy to cover up these problems when people ask. What's not so easy.. being real.

NEWSFLASH:

Jacob was a cheater.

David had an affair.

Noah got drunk.

Paul was a murderer.

Gideon was insecure.

Jonah ran from God.

Thomas was a doubter.

All of these men were followers of God and yet all of these men had issues. Deep, sticky, scary issues. And the surprising part.. wait for it.. ALL of these men were loved and passionately pursued by God. Even when they messed up. That's the God I want to worship - how about you?

Why do we (myself most definitely included) as Christians try so hard to be perfect when we know we're not? I'm pretty sure that this was the reason I became a follower of Jesus Christ.. simply because I realized I was never going to be perfect. As hard as I tried and no matter how "good" I wanted to be, I came to the daunting yet freeing realization that I am never going to be holy enough, faithful enough, wise enough, strong enough, loving enough.. you name it.. for God. This is where Jesus comes in. Jesus is that for me.

You see that quote below my picture over there? "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." I wish I could say that this was always true of me. But it's not. Sorry if you're disappointed. Don't get me wrong - this is what I strive to be BUT unfortunately, I'm not perfect and it doesn't quite always work out that way.

So what does all of this mean?

 

You're flawed, and that's o-k-a-y. Join the crowd.

 

Jesus doesn't ask you to be perfect; rather, he prefers that you recognize your imperfection.

You are never too far gone.

 

Jesus loves you REGARDLESS of your sin.. big or small.

 

 

&

 

He wants to change your life!

[weakness & change]

I am officially a sophomore in "the real world," meaning that I am near the cusp of beginning to understand many new cultural norms - emphasis on the beginning part:

- Skipping work is not quite socially acceptable. While you can get away with spontaneously skipping classes in college, the term has a whole new meaning in the workforce. It is not so unplanned and involves something known as PTO (Paid Time Off). Delightful.

 

- Your body is accustomed to waking up at 6:15am Monday - Friday, so there goes your ability to sleep in. Even if you do still possess that special talent, you better hurry up and get your butt out of bed on the weekend so you can live it up.

 

- Your wardrobe has taken on a new transformation; what was once Nike shorts and over sized t-shirts has blossomed into pencil skirts and blouses.

 

- Although you may still think of life in semesters, try not to refer to them that way - people may look at you strangely.

So this may sound like I am bitter about post college life, but I can assure you that I am not. These are merely changes (not good, not bad.. just different). However, as certain things in life change, there are those that stay constant, as well:

- You will still make excuses not to go to the gym, and now they are even more legitimate. While you were once too lazy to visit the campus gym (4 minutes away from your house, mind you), of course you're going to be too lazy to hit up the gym 4 miles from your house. It just happens.

- Your college friendships will persevere. Even if you move to different places, you will still keep in touch. The frequency will change but not the friendships themselves. You may have to meet up with your friends at your sorority sister's wedding, but you will make the most of it.

and here comes the fun one..

-  Even though you now have a degree and a full time job, you are still weak.. and quite frankly, I mean that in the best way possible.

This is one of the things I learned about myself in college and continue to see in my post grad life.. ouch. As Americans, we are all about self sufficiency. To have limitations and needs is to be lowly, right? How could fragility ever be a good thing? I encourage you to view weakness in a different manner. Weakness forces us to search for something..someone greater to sustain us. Do you see where I am going with this? How am I ever going to find this something or someone if I am self sufficient? It's not possible.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still [weak], Christ died for the ungodly (..that's us). Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:6-8

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses.. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

weakness = good

[a little bitta community]

Yesterday afternoon I witnessed one of the most precious moments I had experienced in a long time. Well, the most precious moment is quite a stretch.. what the precious moment brought on is what was so special.

There I was sitting in the middle of the La Madeleine in the Dallas Love Field Airport, mango iced tea in hand - you know it. Sitting there reading.. passing time until my flight back to Tulsa, Oklahoma.. T-town, if you will. In walked a little old lady who proceeded to ask a middle-aged woman if she could share a table with her. What? There were plenty of available seats - why is this lady trying to bum a table from a stranger? Enter the sweetest conversation ever.. so what if I was eavesdropping?

The two ladies talked about life, chemotherapy, food, friendship, travels, tornado devastation in Oklahoma. And quite frankly, it was beautiful. Props go to the cutest old lady who had the nerve to sit next to this stranger. I rarely see this in the United States.. not saying that people here aren't friendly - but honestly, who goes up to random people in restaurants to ask if they can accompany them with their meal when there are plenty of available seats?

Even though their conversation was not necessarily gospel centered, it made me think of Christian community. It made me think of Christ's body - the Church. God never intended for us to be disconnected.. to figure out life, Christianity, hard times, you name it.. on our own. In a world filled with over 6.974 billion people (yes, BILLION), it is easy to feel tiny, insignificant, independent.

As much as we try to entertain this so-called independence, this is not about you bucking up while attempting to do life on your own; it's about you realizing that you can't become a 'better' Christian on your own accord. We were made for community. We're apart of something bigger than our own lives.

How awesome would it be if we took after the little old lady in our Christian walk?

What if we discussed our struggles more openly with one another? After all, we're in this together, right?

What if we looked for opportunities to assist in carrying the burdens of others on a daily basis.. Whether that be through the stranger we meet in the coffee shop or our best friend?

Just a little food for thought.

[change & trust]

spaghetti squash.

Bloody Marys.

change.

If you haven't guessed it yet.. these are all things I do not like. Rather than talk to you about spaghetti squash or Bloody Marys (as tantalizing as these subject matters may be..), we're goin with number 3. In all seriousness, this 'change' situation has been a real thriller for me these past few months.

New city, new friends, new job, new house. Where does it end? Honestly, I feel like I've been in culture shock since graduation last year.

It should end in t-r-u-s-t. Or at least that's what my devotional keeps telling me.
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.'"
-Isaiah 30:15

I feel like a good chunk of my time has been focused on the last segment of that sentence: '..but you would have none of it.' Instead of trusting the Creator of the world, the ultimate Truth, I have found myself attempting to go against this change.. testing the waters out for myself rather than giving into God's plan for my life through this molding. Only after testing the waters out for myself do I realize that I can't do it alone. I need his guidance. I need to trust in his faithfulness even when it's hard.

Then I am reminded of a somewhat similar situation:

1Now the LORD said to Abram,
  “Go forth from your country,
  And from your relatives
  And from your father’s house,
  To the land which I will show you;
2And I will make you a great nation,
  And I will bless you,
  And make your name great;
  And so you shall be a blessing;
3And I will bless those who bless you,
  And the one who curses you I will curse.
  And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.”

-Genesis 12:1-3

No, I didn't leave my country.. I merely moved 2 hours north. However, the message still applies. God chose Abram to go through changes just as God uses change in our lives - He had plans to prosper Abram through this time. He didn't promise it would be easy or painless, BUT He does promise that the result will be fruitful.

Only one thing can be better than this. A companion.

"..And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
-Matthew 28:20

Check.
 
Why not choose to view this change for what it really is? A time to lean on the Lord. A time to learn. A transformation with an end result of becoming more like Christ. A time to prosper. A time to trust.

[bloom where you are planted]

Sometimes I get to thinking..

So I have this one shot, one opportunity (..you only wish I was about to bust out Eminem style on you) to live "well." We have an average life expectancy of 80 or something years, and I'm not even promised that. In these 80 years, I desire to live with meaning, with purpose. I hope to live up to the expectations of that awful James Dean quote: "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." I want to be remembered for the way that I loved the Lord, that I served Him, that I gave Him glory.

Pause.

Remember how I'm working that 8:00 to 5:00 job Monday through Friday? Remember how I get so wrapped up in my daily routine that I forget about this whole 'one opportunity to live' concept? Remember that February month that seemed to fly by without me even recognizing it for what it could be? Am I glorying the Lord through my corporate lifestyle? Is he satisfied in my daily routine? Am I really making the most of my life?
 
Yes.

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the set times for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being.
-Acts 17:26-28
 
Isn't it comforting to know that we are for a reason? God predetermined the set times and exact places where we should live in order that we may reach out and find Him, the Creator of the entire universe. That job you are working.. I believe God strategically placed you in it to get to know Him more. That daily routine that has you frazzled.. God's going to use it for His greater purposes.

What I'm trying to say is that it doesn't matter that we may not feel like we are living to the best of our abilities.. if we are 'living as if we will die today.' Whether we can see it or not, God is constantly directing our footsteps.. leading us to his wide open arms.. the ultimate satisfaction. All we're asked to do in return is to abide.

abide: continue without fading or being lost.

Not feelin' it?

God is exalted in his power.

Who is a teacher like him?

Who has prescribed his ways for him,

or said to him, ‘You have done wrong’?

Remember to extol his work,

which men have praised in song.

All mankind has seen it;

men gaze on it from afar.

How great is God—beyond our understanding!

The number of his years is past finding out.

“He draws up the drops of water,

which distill as rain to the streams;

the clouds pour down their moisture

and abundant showers fall on mankind.

Who can understand how he spreads out the clouds,

how he thunders from his pavilion?

See how he scatters his lightning about him,

bathing the depths of the sea.

This is the way he governs the nations

and provides food in abundance.

He fills his hands with lightning

and commands it to strike its mark.

His thunder announces the coming storm;

even the cattle make known its approach.

 -Job 36:22-33

You can trust Him.